Conflict – two or more people trying to occupy the same space or control the same resources.
- Learning to handle conflict correctly is the tunnel to intimacy. (1 Corinthians 14:32-33, NKJV)
- Believe that every conflict can be resolved if both parties want to follow God’s plan for it.
- The goal of conflict is not to win and have victory but to resolve the conflict. (Matthew 5:9, NKJV)
- “Never again list” during conflict: (James 1:19, NKJV; Proverbs 21:23, NLT; Proverbs 16:24, NKJV; Proverbs 15:1-2, NKJV; Proverbs 18:21, NKJV; Ephesians 4:29, NKJV)
- Never call each other names.
- Never raise your voice.
- Never get historical.
- Never say “Never” or “Always”.
- Never threaten divorce or separation.
- Learn to make anger work for you, not against you. (Ephesians 4:26-27, NKJV)
Learn the “ABCD” of Anger
- Acknowledge your anger.
- Backtrack the primary emotion or cause.
- Sadness, loneliness, disappointment, wrong expectations, feeling attacked, embarrassment, feeling unloved, jealousy, disrespected, insecure, etc.
- Consider the real cause is that you expected everyone to want and feel like you do.
- Determine the best way to deal with and handle the situation.
Four Signs You’re Not Fighting Fair
- There’s Criticizing
- There’s Contempt.
- There’s Defensiveness
- There’s Stonewalling